Rearview Mirror

               Cliché songs mutter out the lyrics of something to the extent of, "live like you were dying." But the idea is nothing new, though the thought is still cause for reflection. Even in the poem by Horace you embrace the term, "carpe diem," or "seize the day." Each day we are given is a blessing. However, when you stop to think about all of them in retrospect it makes you wonder. Me personally, I imagine myself one day being very old and I wonder, when I think back over my life what will I think of?

               This year I turn 30, a milestone in its own respect. However, when I was 18 I honestly didn't think I'd live to make it to here. Perhaps my close mindedness couldn't see more than what was in front of me. However, looking back lends such an interesting perspective. I couldn't even begin to tell you what was important to me. I could tell you about the trivial things, girls, my popularity, which lunch table I got to sit with and how it reflected my status. That was about as rough as it got. I minimalize those events because, being almost 30, I honestly don't have those same priorities.

               Say I make it to 90 years old. Awesome. Will I still say, "awesome?" Better yet, what will I think back on of my thirties? How was I worried about paying rent? or being worried about buying a house? or paying off a mortgage? Where is my next check coming from? How will I ever afford this? When's a good time to have kids? Am I too old for this? I wonder what the 90 year old experienced me what say to me now. What would his advice be? And what the heck are next week's winning lottery numbers?    

               Truth be told, I know the gravity of what that 90 year old will face. It's the same reality the 18 year old faced and even this 30 year old. Will the trivial things of this world keep me from experiencing what God has in store for me? Will I have spent my entire life spiritually chasing my tail or will I one day, sit back and experience what it is to fully understand what God meant by setting into motion the events that lead up to the cross? What will I ultimately see in my review mirror as God shows me my life?

               I really think God is showing me something big. Something so big that it cannot be kept. I know that at the least, God will help me step out of this apathetic Christian pose and be more than someone who knows about the cross... but someone who truly knows what it is to experience what the cross has to offer.

               Review mirrors are an amazing tool to know what's going on behind you so that you can know where you're going. I pray tonight, a very simple prayer for the both us. Tonight, I pray that God will crush these hardened hearts and that we can learn to be more like Jesus Christ in how we think, act and live. That when we do see our judgment day, we won't have to worry about our rearview mirrors but instead we'll get to focus on the God of eternity. No looking to the past because hopefully, we'll hear the words our souls cry out for, "WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT."

Beautiful by MercyMe

Something More

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'Matthew 25:40

 God has introduced me to a brother in Christ who comes from this village. I am beyond trying to put into words how my heart breaks for anyone who has no choice to live like this. And yet, they are still considered fortunate. To love a fellow person just because is to be loved as Jesus loved us.

 Currently, They are building a church! How amazing is that?! The thing that is sought most is not items or materials for gain but to have a place of worship to show their love to a gracious God! They don't have shoes but they don't care! They want to love Christ and to have a church!! Amazing!

 In the other pictures you will see some of the women who carry pots on their heads. In some villages the women and girls must walk several miles of rural country to provide drinking water for their families. Their sacrifices mean that they are not able to go to school.

 You will also see 3 motorcycles (of sorts). These bikes are transportation to main roads and the villages only means of transportation (besides their feet of course)

 We live like kings amongst others who are blessed beyond measure. I see these children and these people and realize I have an opportunity to help others. I have little to give but God can use my gifts and talents and take my gifts and multiply them over and over beyond measure.

 I have a chance to help someone I may never meet. I have been blessed with the opportunity to bless someone else. I have been invited to be apart of non-profit organization that will help people like these.

It is in the early stages but I believe in power of an AWESOME GOD. I will continue to keep people posted and only ask for prayers. Prayers to make the right decision and prayers to do the will of the father! When other opportunities arrive, I will let you know as soon as possible should you wish to be apart of it. But, as I said, right now I only ask for prayers. Prayers for these people and those who are to help these people.

Prodigal

Give me a heart for the lost. Help me find those, who can't find their way. Where the prodigal child goes I know all too well. For as the prodigal son came to himself, so did I.

Luke 15 kicks off with Jesus telling 3 parables. All 3 stories talk of losing something precious and then finding it. The lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. Each one a hierarchy of importance to an Israelite. A sheep being lost, a silver coin, a son.

I'm not a biblical historian but I'm pretty sure if Jesus puts the silver coin in the middle, he's making a point to say that it's worth more than a sheep but nowhere near as import as the value of a son. Pretty simple way of understanding right?

Something of value is in jeopardy in the stories. There is an action from the person seeking what is lost and there is an action when what is lost is found. There is also an imbalance and then there's a restoration. Something is incomplete that later becomes whole.

Jesus starts his stories talking about sheep. If you have 100 sheep and you lose 1, you will pretty much stop what you are doing to find the one missing. I wouldn't because I don't care about sheep per say. But that doesn't negate the fact that if I had 100 anything and I lost one of it, I wouldn't look for it.

Before I leave for work in the morning I have a bunch of things set out in a particular order. As I'm getting ready to leave the house I pick up my wallet and then my keys. Then I go for my crackberry and finally my iPod and Oakley's. It's 5 simple things but if I can't find one of them, you can forget it. I'm not going forward with my day. I'm am going to take my time and look for whatever is missing. I will not take the time to look for a sheep but I will lose my mind if I can't listen to my ipod at work! Can't find my sunglasses... ah nope. Can't do it. I live in Texas where it's not only hot year 'round it's like the sun is vacations here.

So I get what's going here. I see the importance. You're not going to leave it to chance. You're going to find it because it has value.

The second story is similar because a woman loses a piece of silver. I love the fact that Jesus uses this amount. I really do. When the Bible talks about shekels as an amount I am clueless of its importance. Silver and gold, relates really well to us. It's a value that I get and comprehend. My fiancé has gotten charms from James Avery so I get the idea of the value of silver. Plus everyone can relate to losing money. You will retrace your steps, you will tear a couch apart you may even accuse your mom of taking it. People get funny with money.

The third story is the best. A man has two sons. The father loses his youngest son after he goes out into the world, messes up, has a hard life and eventually gets to go back home. I'm paraphrasing of course but that's just because there's a lot more going on there.

All 3 stories rotate around the lost. It's not a coincidence that Jesus uses 3 stories to make his point. Clearly he's not just talking about a sheep or a coin or even simply a son. In his master ability to convey a point he explains in earthly words how God sees us. How he sees the lost children and conveys their value to him. Jesus conveys to us that God can't forget about what's lost. It bothers him.

When something is lost and it is important to you, it will drive you crazy. It will bother you and eat at you. And here Jesus is explaining to us that the God of heaven and Earth, infinite and finite, the center piece of creation and God can't let it go. The value he puts on people is so immeasurable he can't bear the idea of losing one person.

In the story of the lost son, the son first disrespects his father by asking for his inheritance early. He goes out and lives this fast life and burns through all of his inheritance. He is quickly destitute and is forced to do the unthinkable until it dawns on him that, "hey, it wasn't so bad back at home. My dad is kind of a nice guy, maybe if I go back and beg he'll let me be a servant." So he heads home, disgraced and embarrassed. But here's the thing: it says in Luke 15:19 "...But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him.."

He was a long way off and his father saw him. I was in the Navy for 4 years and when I was out on the ocean I can attest for a fact that unless you are really looking for something off in the distance you're not going to see it. Stuff doesn't just kind of appear, you really have to look for it. And here Jesus is saying that this son is a long way off from home and his father sees him. He sees him, the father sees him. Things don't just appear from a distance unless you really look for them right? Here, the father sees him!

Just like the sheep and the coin, I picture this father not being able to function right. I picture a man who can't go about his daily life or fit into a routine because he's bothered by an absence. He's troubled because he is incomplete. He couldn't have coincidentally looked up, he had to be looking. He had to be searching and scanning the horizon for this son.

Jesus' whole ministry can be wrapped up into these stories about God's love for us as individuals. God doesn't sit back and forget about his children out in the world. He waits and waits and searches the horizons for his children. Waiting to run to them.

I picture in my head this beautiful God who saw me when I was a long way off. I came to myself and realized where I was and all I wanted was tell him how sorry I was. And just like this prodigal child, he saw me from the distance. He ran to me and threw his arms around me and said, I love you. And he won't even let me talk about my mistakes. He was busy making me royalty when I never deserved it. He was busy giving me life when my wages of sin called for death.

I think about the others now. I think about this love of a God who can't bear to be without us. I think about the value of what we are to him. I think about the price that was paid for us. I think about the children who are still a long way off.                         

I think that God is calling on this generation. I think we are surrounded by the prodigal. 

I think when people finally come to understand how much God loves us 

...and come to know that God through Jesus Christ then... 

...then we will get to rejoice for those who are found.

simple

...He looked at me.

...he saw my worth.

I've been watching a show on A&E called hoarding. It's a pretty brutal show to watch because in most cases someone has gone through an event in life that has triggered an emotional response. The response is usually to gather  as many items with some kind of connection to the individual to the point of compulsion. It definitely goes into the realm of unnecessary.

These peoples 'habitats' are extreme. Items and possessions are kept at an extreme. In some cases there are even those who cannot part with waste or filth. They become prisoners in their environment. They are without a doubt their own worst enemies. Whole rooms become engulfed with trash, waste, material objects and pests that come along with poor living conditions. From floor to ceiling, room by room filled with undesirable objects to everyday people's standards.

In some ways, these people are mentally ill. In others they are reacting emotionally to a life event. Some lack an acceptance of reality to the situation. To some it's even a lack of parting with their most prized possession, their pride. Some are embarrassed not wanting to seem weak or judged by others.

I can't imagine the scrutiny of being under the microscope. My embarrassment put out into the open for all to see. My defect made public. My trash and my ugliness placed on an alter for the masses to judge.

What if the world could peak into our virtual accounts of disappointment. If there was a show devoted to exposing the very worst parts of each and every one of us? Imagine all of our garbage packed from floor to ceiling and us sitting in the middle of all it.

I tried once to talk to my cousin about Christianity. I, in hindsight, realized I did the typical Christian attack. I asked a few condemning questions. I pointed out the logic and all the idealism's and of course the end results. I had the Kirk Cameron Text book power play to convert agnostics into believers. (For the record, I'm not bashing him)

I think a lot of Christians get saved and get fired up and forget one small little detail. In a way, our sin is a lot like that hoarded environment. There are definitely parallels. Like the hoarder we are incapable of removing that waste. We are surrounded and consumed by it. We are by default, born into it. Until Christ saved us, we lived hidden in our shame.

Like the hoarder we may be emotionally tied to it. We may have ignored or not accepted the situation. We may have even been too proud to ask for help or afraid to be judged by others.

When I spoke to my cousin I wanted so badly for him to understand where I was coming from. I was hoping for that, throw your hands up and praise Jesus realization that I had. Sadly, I don't know if my words came across... Or even more appropriately, HOW they came across.

We sometimes forget as Christians that until God found us, until he whispered in our hearts, until we woke up inside, we lived in that house. That place of ugliness is a monument to God's love for us. Bibically God calls our best accomplishments filthy rags.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Our beautiful works of art. Our Brilliance, our accomplishments... everything we have every accomplished as a whole, is less than worthless.


I think of my house and my sin and all of my dirt. I picture the mess and realize that my mess next your mess, next to their mess. It's identical. It's measurably the same. I know that because the Bible says, that ALL have fallen short of the grace of God.

We need to stop looking at these houses and rating them. Your dirt isn't as bad as my dirt. Your sin isn't as bad as my sin. Your house doesn't look that bad. Your house isn't as good as mine.

God took us out of that house.

He paid a ransom to get us out of that awfulness.

He cleaned us and removed all trace of that house from us and gave us a better house.

His house.

I have a friend, a rather new friend at that but his ways have inadvertently inspired me. All great minds who follow Christ have the simple realization.

...to love as Jesus loved. Unquestionably, uncontrollably and uncompromisingly.

Thank you Lord for getting me out of there. Thank you for your unending love. Thank you for showing me that where people are in life and their burden of sin were similar to mine. Thank you for showing me how to love them as you loved us.

This is house that Christ built.

'2 things'

I heard about a person who died and had a conversation with God.

This person coded twice while in the process of a quadruple bi-pass surgery.  

This person said that they had an out of body experience and actually had a conversation with God.

I was told that when God spoke to him, he told the man 2 things...

...the first being, that he was not with him.

... the other thing God said to the man, was that no one listened to him anymore.

For the life of me, I'm not sure which part was sadder. Usually, I can write and relay a story. But, for the life of me I can't feel anything but convicted by this.

I try to wrap my head around this thinking and weighing which one would be worse to hear. Obviously if this story has made it's way to me, then I was suppose to hear it.

What if... if that person was me? If I actually stood before God... and he looked at me and said that? Is it my heart? or my actions? or my life? my thoughts? what would stop me?

...what is stopping me?

The second part troubles me too. No one listens to him. ... No one. No one?

God the maker of life. The author everything... The king of kings....

...Creator of heaven and earth and no one... no one listens?

God... who sent Christ to die for us... forgave us of everything... set us as his crown jewel of his masterpiece and no one?

No one?


Maybe it's not, no one. ... but i know when it's me.


a two minute conversation...and it rocked me to my core. and I'm left asking, saying, begging... tell me, I'm listening. You have my attention.

Frontline...

You see him adorned with scars from the battlefield but his smile shows just how much he lives for this fight...


The world will punish you and beat you into the ground. You can get caught up in the overwhelming circumstances as they pull at you like a mighty undertow. Situations in life happen to the best of us, things that literally break us down and try to pull us apart.

I've heard it said that we're in a war, a battle, a never ending fight with the enemy and just when you think salvation has come along, that you're born again and everything is kosher, it's really not. In fact, if you're not paying attention, you can find yourself with a very big, very visible target on your back.


One minute you're riding high on life and the next it's one small thing like misplacing your keys. Then it's another little thing like you're 5 minutes late to work. Then on the way to work you realize you're late but now you have to stop and get gas. Then you realize that this was not the morning what-so-ever to be late because out of all the days, you couldn't be late today for that big meeting. Then you're in that meeting and Janice is there whispering to another colleague but you're fairly certain it was about you and you hate Janice anyways because she doesn't do her work and she talks on the phone all day but when stuff hits the fan, it's suddenly your fault. OR something like that.

I believe that in this war, we are being tested and tried by the enemy. We are being called out by a bully who doesn't fight fair and pulls NO punches. Alone we are weak. His slights and his attacks are like a domino effect where your perfect day becomes a dart board of fecal matter.

And through this we must realize that we are powerless to stop the losing battle. We are the Israelite's standing across the battlefield from one big nasty mo-fo.

Sometimes, more often than not, when this domino effect happens or we come face to face with a Goliath we assume we're being punished from God. Even better is the, "hey Lord, why hast thou forsaken me," attitude. Why I do think we are tested from time to time by God, I do not think he bring unpleasantries into ourlives purposefully. (Even if he did, he's God and he's got a much better explanation than I do, as to why.)

But in this storm, you may look around and ask yourself, how or why. Especially when you've found yourself trying to change.

Or trying to become a better person...

or a better Christian...

or just trying to be a Christian period.

I've come to realize that God never forsakes us. I'm hard headed and I'm pretty sure I've tried enough stuff to fully test this theory. But alas, I look around and he is ever there in the details of my life. Through my trials and my tribulations. My defeats and my victories. My short comings and my abundant blessings.

God even went so far as to say, I will never leave you, nor forsake you! (Heb 13:5)

We have to realize that when things do go wrong and you feel like that dart board mentioned earlier, you have to remember that even though we are not skilled enough to win the fight, Jesus already won. That Goliath goes down every time in the name of the Lord. God is unstoppable. To fight him would be stupid...

... not to mention, who could beat God? I mean, he's God. Here's the other thing, no matter how many times you get attacked, you have an immeasurable source of strength. You have a secret weapon of faith and believing in this wonderful God.

Jesus took the scars and won the fight. He lived for the fight. And if you take away anything from my ramblings today, consider this for your next fight. You died, and it's not you who lives, but Christ who lives in you. Because Christ is in you, you are well abled to fight.

See you on the front line.