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My beautiful letdown
It would seem obvious to anyone of any faith or thinking that this life is only temporary. We as a civilization and a species share similar ideas, flaws and ambitions. What could I possibly say to anyone what life is, being that I have yet to fulfill this life? It seems unrealistic, wouldn't it, that since I haven't finished living that I should talk about what the meaning or purpose of this life is?
I think it would be safe to assume that I have struggled in vein along with everyone else to find such a purpose. It seems like each of us has this hole inside of us that needs to be filled. I have chased after the world looking to fill that hole and find that purpose. I have found many amazing things in my short time of existence but I never seem to find that piece that makes me feel whole.
C.S. Lewis said, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." Such an incredible thought. You see, I have tried to find that experience that he speaks of. There's a famous story of a prodigal son that I identify with. We both have these parallels in our lives of living these fast times and like this prodigal, the high times of the party never lasted. We both came to a place where we saw ourselves as we really were.
I never found myself in the drugs, the drinking or any girl. The more I tried to fill that hole in my soul with material things and temporary flings the bigger that hole seemed to get. I never understood it though. I mean, everything I thought meant something never seemed to hold up. I was the life of the party and I had nothing to show for it. According to the world and TV and movies I should have had everything I needed or wanted. I was letdown to say the least.
Anyone feel alienated yet?
You see just like C.S. Lewis and his thoughts of another world, I could only think to myself that this couldn't be it. With my brief time on earth this couldn't be the answer. If this isn't the answer then what is? A friend of mine said it better than I ever could. "I found grace or better yet, you could say that grace found me."
I titled this speech, "my beautiful letdown" because I'm actually happy to know that there's nothing in this life that I look forward to more than what's next. However, I know that there are others out there who were like me looking for what could fill that void in their life. I don't want to come across as preachy because I'm not selling anything. If anything, what I've found from finding this grace leads me to be a better person.
I close with the inspiration that brought me to this topic and I'd like to read the words :
"It was a beautiful letdown when I crashed and burned. When I found myself alone unknown and hurt. It was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that the all the riches this world had to offer me would never do. In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt I was trying so hard to fit in, until I found out that I don't belong here."
I know I don't have all the answers. I hope to inspire others and change their perceptions and to let them know what sets me apart without condemnation or judgment. I sincerely hope that when others search for answers they might come to the realization that I have and that it's okay to be letdown by this world. Especially when there's something so much better.
I pray that you are found by grace.
