Beautiful by MercyMe

Something More

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'Matthew 25:40

 God has introduced me to a brother in Christ who comes from this village. I am beyond trying to put into words how my heart breaks for anyone who has no choice to live like this. And yet, they are still considered fortunate. To love a fellow person just because is to be loved as Jesus loved us.

 Currently, They are building a church! How amazing is that?! The thing that is sought most is not items or materials for gain but to have a place of worship to show their love to a gracious God! They don't have shoes but they don't care! They want to love Christ and to have a church!! Amazing!

 In the other pictures you will see some of the women who carry pots on their heads. In some villages the women and girls must walk several miles of rural country to provide drinking water for their families. Their sacrifices mean that they are not able to go to school.

 You will also see 3 motorcycles (of sorts). These bikes are transportation to main roads and the villages only means of transportation (besides their feet of course)

 We live like kings amongst others who are blessed beyond measure. I see these children and these people and realize I have an opportunity to help others. I have little to give but God can use my gifts and talents and take my gifts and multiply them over and over beyond measure.

 I have a chance to help someone I may never meet. I have been blessed with the opportunity to bless someone else. I have been invited to be apart of non-profit organization that will help people like these.

It is in the early stages but I believe in power of an AWESOME GOD. I will continue to keep people posted and only ask for prayers. Prayers to make the right decision and prayers to do the will of the father! When other opportunities arrive, I will let you know as soon as possible should you wish to be apart of it. But, as I said, right now I only ask for prayers. Prayers for these people and those who are to help these people.

Prodigal

Give me a heart for the lost. Help me find those, who can't find their way. Where the prodigal child goes I know all too well. For as the prodigal son came to himself, so did I.

Luke 15 kicks off with Jesus telling 3 parables. All 3 stories talk of losing something precious and then finding it. The lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. Each one a hierarchy of importance to an Israelite. A sheep being lost, a silver coin, a son.

I'm not a biblical historian but I'm pretty sure if Jesus puts the silver coin in the middle, he's making a point to say that it's worth more than a sheep but nowhere near as import as the value of a son. Pretty simple way of understanding right?

Something of value is in jeopardy in the stories. There is an action from the person seeking what is lost and there is an action when what is lost is found. There is also an imbalance and then there's a restoration. Something is incomplete that later becomes whole.

Jesus starts his stories talking about sheep. If you have 100 sheep and you lose 1, you will pretty much stop what you are doing to find the one missing. I wouldn't because I don't care about sheep per say. But that doesn't negate the fact that if I had 100 anything and I lost one of it, I wouldn't look for it.

Before I leave for work in the morning I have a bunch of things set out in a particular order. As I'm getting ready to leave the house I pick up my wallet and then my keys. Then I go for my crackberry and finally my iPod and Oakley's. It's 5 simple things but if I can't find one of them, you can forget it. I'm not going forward with my day. I'm am going to take my time and look for whatever is missing. I will not take the time to look for a sheep but I will lose my mind if I can't listen to my ipod at work! Can't find my sunglasses... ah nope. Can't do it. I live in Texas where it's not only hot year 'round it's like the sun is vacations here.

So I get what's going here. I see the importance. You're not going to leave it to chance. You're going to find it because it has value.

The second story is similar because a woman loses a piece of silver. I love the fact that Jesus uses this amount. I really do. When the Bible talks about shekels as an amount I am clueless of its importance. Silver and gold, relates really well to us. It's a value that I get and comprehend. My fiancé has gotten charms from James Avery so I get the idea of the value of silver. Plus everyone can relate to losing money. You will retrace your steps, you will tear a couch apart you may even accuse your mom of taking it. People get funny with money.

The third story is the best. A man has two sons. The father loses his youngest son after he goes out into the world, messes up, has a hard life and eventually gets to go back home. I'm paraphrasing of course but that's just because there's a lot more going on there.

All 3 stories rotate around the lost. It's not a coincidence that Jesus uses 3 stories to make his point. Clearly he's not just talking about a sheep or a coin or even simply a son. In his master ability to convey a point he explains in earthly words how God sees us. How he sees the lost children and conveys their value to him. Jesus conveys to us that God can't forget about what's lost. It bothers him.

When something is lost and it is important to you, it will drive you crazy. It will bother you and eat at you. And here Jesus is explaining to us that the God of heaven and Earth, infinite and finite, the center piece of creation and God can't let it go. The value he puts on people is so immeasurable he can't bear the idea of losing one person.

In the story of the lost son, the son first disrespects his father by asking for his inheritance early. He goes out and lives this fast life and burns through all of his inheritance. He is quickly destitute and is forced to do the unthinkable until it dawns on him that, "hey, it wasn't so bad back at home. My dad is kind of a nice guy, maybe if I go back and beg he'll let me be a servant." So he heads home, disgraced and embarrassed. But here's the thing: it says in Luke 15:19 "...But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him.."

He was a long way off and his father saw him. I was in the Navy for 4 years and when I was out on the ocean I can attest for a fact that unless you are really looking for something off in the distance you're not going to see it. Stuff doesn't just kind of appear, you really have to look for it. And here Jesus is saying that this son is a long way off from home and his father sees him. He sees him, the father sees him. Things don't just appear from a distance unless you really look for them right? Here, the father sees him!

Just like the sheep and the coin, I picture this father not being able to function right. I picture a man who can't go about his daily life or fit into a routine because he's bothered by an absence. He's troubled because he is incomplete. He couldn't have coincidentally looked up, he had to be looking. He had to be searching and scanning the horizon for this son.

Jesus' whole ministry can be wrapped up into these stories about God's love for us as individuals. God doesn't sit back and forget about his children out in the world. He waits and waits and searches the horizons for his children. Waiting to run to them.

I picture in my head this beautiful God who saw me when I was a long way off. I came to myself and realized where I was and all I wanted was tell him how sorry I was. And just like this prodigal child, he saw me from the distance. He ran to me and threw his arms around me and said, I love you. And he won't even let me talk about my mistakes. He was busy making me royalty when I never deserved it. He was busy giving me life when my wages of sin called for death.

I think about the others now. I think about this love of a God who can't bear to be without us. I think about the value of what we are to him. I think about the price that was paid for us. I think about the children who are still a long way off.                         

I think that God is calling on this generation. I think we are surrounded by the prodigal. 

I think when people finally come to understand how much God loves us 

...and come to know that God through Jesus Christ then... 

...then we will get to rejoice for those who are found.

simple

...He looked at me.

...he saw my worth.

I've been watching a show on A&E called hoarding. It's a pretty brutal show to watch because in most cases someone has gone through an event in life that has triggered an emotional response. The response is usually to gather  as many items with some kind of connection to the individual to the point of compulsion. It definitely goes into the realm of unnecessary.

These peoples 'habitats' are extreme. Items and possessions are kept at an extreme. In some cases there are even those who cannot part with waste or filth. They become prisoners in their environment. They are without a doubt their own worst enemies. Whole rooms become engulfed with trash, waste, material objects and pests that come along with poor living conditions. From floor to ceiling, room by room filled with undesirable objects to everyday people's standards.

In some ways, these people are mentally ill. In others they are reacting emotionally to a life event. Some lack an acceptance of reality to the situation. To some it's even a lack of parting with their most prized possession, their pride. Some are embarrassed not wanting to seem weak or judged by others.

I can't imagine the scrutiny of being under the microscope. My embarrassment put out into the open for all to see. My defect made public. My trash and my ugliness placed on an alter for the masses to judge.

What if the world could peak into our virtual accounts of disappointment. If there was a show devoted to exposing the very worst parts of each and every one of us? Imagine all of our garbage packed from floor to ceiling and us sitting in the middle of all it.

I tried once to talk to my cousin about Christianity. I, in hindsight, realized I did the typical Christian attack. I asked a few condemning questions. I pointed out the logic and all the idealism's and of course the end results. I had the Kirk Cameron Text book power play to convert agnostics into believers. (For the record, I'm not bashing him)

I think a lot of Christians get saved and get fired up and forget one small little detail. In a way, our sin is a lot like that hoarded environment. There are definitely parallels. Like the hoarder we are incapable of removing that waste. We are surrounded and consumed by it. We are by default, born into it. Until Christ saved us, we lived hidden in our shame.

Like the hoarder we may be emotionally tied to it. We may have ignored or not accepted the situation. We may have even been too proud to ask for help or afraid to be judged by others.

When I spoke to my cousin I wanted so badly for him to understand where I was coming from. I was hoping for that, throw your hands up and praise Jesus realization that I had. Sadly, I don't know if my words came across... Or even more appropriately, HOW they came across.

We sometimes forget as Christians that until God found us, until he whispered in our hearts, until we woke up inside, we lived in that house. That place of ugliness is a monument to God's love for us. Bibically God calls our best accomplishments filthy rags.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Our beautiful works of art. Our Brilliance, our accomplishments... everything we have every accomplished as a whole, is less than worthless.


I think of my house and my sin and all of my dirt. I picture the mess and realize that my mess next your mess, next to their mess. It's identical. It's measurably the same. I know that because the Bible says, that ALL have fallen short of the grace of God.

We need to stop looking at these houses and rating them. Your dirt isn't as bad as my dirt. Your sin isn't as bad as my sin. Your house doesn't look that bad. Your house isn't as good as mine.

God took us out of that house.

He paid a ransom to get us out of that awfulness.

He cleaned us and removed all trace of that house from us and gave us a better house.

His house.

I have a friend, a rather new friend at that but his ways have inadvertently inspired me. All great minds who follow Christ have the simple realization.

...to love as Jesus loved. Unquestionably, uncontrollably and uncompromisingly.

Thank you Lord for getting me out of there. Thank you for your unending love. Thank you for showing me that where people are in life and their burden of sin were similar to mine. Thank you for showing me how to love them as you loved us.

This is house that Christ built.

'2 things'

I heard about a person who died and had a conversation with God.

This person coded twice while in the process of a quadruple bi-pass surgery.  

This person said that they had an out of body experience and actually had a conversation with God.

I was told that when God spoke to him, he told the man 2 things...

...the first being, that he was not with him.

... the other thing God said to the man, was that no one listened to him anymore.

For the life of me, I'm not sure which part was sadder. Usually, I can write and relay a story. But, for the life of me I can't feel anything but convicted by this.

I try to wrap my head around this thinking and weighing which one would be worse to hear. Obviously if this story has made it's way to me, then I was suppose to hear it.

What if... if that person was me? If I actually stood before God... and he looked at me and said that? Is it my heart? or my actions? or my life? my thoughts? what would stop me?

...what is stopping me?

The second part troubles me too. No one listens to him. ... No one. No one?

God the maker of life. The author everything... The king of kings....

...Creator of heaven and earth and no one... no one listens?

God... who sent Christ to die for us... forgave us of everything... set us as his crown jewel of his masterpiece and no one?

No one?


Maybe it's not, no one. ... but i know when it's me.


a two minute conversation...and it rocked me to my core. and I'm left asking, saying, begging... tell me, I'm listening. You have my attention.

Frontline...

You see him adorned with scars from the battlefield but his smile shows just how much he lives for this fight...


The world will punish you and beat you into the ground. You can get caught up in the overwhelming circumstances as they pull at you like a mighty undertow. Situations in life happen to the best of us, things that literally break us down and try to pull us apart.

I've heard it said that we're in a war, a battle, a never ending fight with the enemy and just when you think salvation has come along, that you're born again and everything is kosher, it's really not. In fact, if you're not paying attention, you can find yourself with a very big, very visible target on your back.


One minute you're riding high on life and the next it's one small thing like misplacing your keys. Then it's another little thing like you're 5 minutes late to work. Then on the way to work you realize you're late but now you have to stop and get gas. Then you realize that this was not the morning what-so-ever to be late because out of all the days, you couldn't be late today for that big meeting. Then you're in that meeting and Janice is there whispering to another colleague but you're fairly certain it was about you and you hate Janice anyways because she doesn't do her work and she talks on the phone all day but when stuff hits the fan, it's suddenly your fault. OR something like that.

I believe that in this war, we are being tested and tried by the enemy. We are being called out by a bully who doesn't fight fair and pulls NO punches. Alone we are weak. His slights and his attacks are like a domino effect where your perfect day becomes a dart board of fecal matter.

And through this we must realize that we are powerless to stop the losing battle. We are the Israelite's standing across the battlefield from one big nasty mo-fo.

Sometimes, more often than not, when this domino effect happens or we come face to face with a Goliath we assume we're being punished from God. Even better is the, "hey Lord, why hast thou forsaken me," attitude. Why I do think we are tested from time to time by God, I do not think he bring unpleasantries into ourlives purposefully. (Even if he did, he's God and he's got a much better explanation than I do, as to why.)

But in this storm, you may look around and ask yourself, how or why. Especially when you've found yourself trying to change.

Or trying to become a better person...

or a better Christian...

or just trying to be a Christian period.

I've come to realize that God never forsakes us. I'm hard headed and I'm pretty sure I've tried enough stuff to fully test this theory. But alas, I look around and he is ever there in the details of my life. Through my trials and my tribulations. My defeats and my victories. My short comings and my abundant blessings.

God even went so far as to say, I will never leave you, nor forsake you! (Heb 13:5)

We have to realize that when things do go wrong and you feel like that dart board mentioned earlier, you have to remember that even though we are not skilled enough to win the fight, Jesus already won. That Goliath goes down every time in the name of the Lord. God is unstoppable. To fight him would be stupid...

... not to mention, who could beat God? I mean, he's God. Here's the other thing, no matter how many times you get attacked, you have an immeasurable source of strength. You have a secret weapon of faith and believing in this wonderful God.

Jesus took the scars and won the fight. He lived for the fight. And if you take away anything from my ramblings today, consider this for your next fight. You died, and it's not you who lives, but Christ who lives in you. Because Christ is in you, you are well abled to fight.

See you on the front line.  

What would you say?

The world.

The world has these unwritten rules. Practices of things that "just are." "It's a dog eat dog world." "If it's going to me or you, it's going to be me." "Always look out for number 1." "There is no right or wrong, only what is and what isn't." I thought of these things last night as waited to fall asleep, possibly considering each as a topic to write about. I wondered as I laid there what kind of verbal arsenal I could pre-stage as I waited. Perhaps I could take aim and fire off on whatever was controversial. Perhaps I could speak of celebrities and whatever was topical. I could poke holes into their moral fiber.

As I laid there I wondered, half praying, half thinking, "God, if you could talk through me, what would you talk about?" Would you talk about the economy or a celebrity? Would you talk about America or the world being morally bankrupt?

It sounds stupid, but I don't think God would. I honestly think that God has very little interest in what's a hot topic. (I realize the audacity about what I'm about to say...) I heard a small, clear voice say, I don't care about this. I care about the other end of the spectrum. Not the fancy cars or the million dollar homes or any of the distractions of this world. (I'm paraphrasing, of course) God told me, I care about the lost.

I began to think of the unglamorous. The junior high girl who doesn't know what it is to be loved. The drug addict and the homeless person. The real people in the world who are hurting, who are dying, who are struggling to hold on. The people that we consider background noise. The people who don't fit our MTV mold or way of thinking. The people who are written off and over looked. The people who want so badly to believe in a God or anything out there that would love them and the people who are convinced that there is no God.

If God could talk through me, I think he'd have me talk to those people. The unglamorous. The forgotten. Here I claim to be this Christian. Here I claim to be another "prodigal son." Here and now I began to think of what my life consists of. One day I will have to answer for so many things. One day I will stand side by side the other sinners and saints. One day I will see all of it and God will show me these people again. He will show me the worlds "background noises," the forgotten and unloved. He will say to me, You claim to be a child of mine, where were you for these people? Will my excuses of having to work even sound acceptable even to me? I had no time outside of watching TV or playing Xbox. I looked the other way at the intersection when the vagabond with nothing but humiliation in his eyes, looked into mine and I was too embarrassed or I thought he may have been an addict. The cars I want, or the houses I pray for and the money I hope to have one day is all but trivial. God says to me, None of this matters.

When Jesus was alive the forgotten were his calling. The people who were hurting or needing. That's where he was. He wasn't involved in politics or fashion or materialism. God was telling me that this is what he cares about! These people. These who are lost. His prodigal children.
I don't say these things with the intention of a guilt trip. I don't say these things to seem "holier than thou." I say these things because I honestly think that If God were to talk through me, this is what would matter.

I believe in all my heart that I will stand before God one day.

Nothing is as terrifying as that thought.

I cannot imagine a world hurting as it does not to have that single bit of hope. I cannot imagine
anyone around me that I know, never having that opportunity.

In my millions of miles of shame, I have only Jesus to cling too.



I think it's good to remind ourselves to be of the world and not in it. I think it's also good to remember to love people through their faults as God has loved us through ours. I believe that God wants us to be so much like Jesus that that's what he's in us. To do that, I think we need to venture out to the uncomfortable places.

I think we need to start asking God, What would you say?

Where is the fire?

I wonder how many times I will have to reassess or re-evaluate where I'm at. How many times I'll sit and say to myself, you've gone to far. You've gotten away from it. You have become what you said you wouldn't. You are the hypocrite you despise. Where is your fire? The one that burned in you, when you said you would give this life to God?

I said I wouldn't go back to my old habits or my old ways. But where does He find me? In my old habits. In my old ways. And I ask him again and again, why do you never tire of this? I have let my fire go out, I've let you down and whoever else who might be out there watching.

I wonder why you are so eager to welcome your prodigal son. Why that, before I can offer my excuses or my rehearsed stories, you have silenced me. You have fallen around my neck rejoicing. And this is what angers me. This is what saddens me and rips my heart apart.

To know your love is to know the need of a savior. To know your grandness compared to my frailty, your awesomeness compared to my lacking. How you could ever love the tainted hearts of any of us makes me only ask, why?

Why set us the cornerstone of your creation?

Why bless us when we fail you?

Why love us at all?

And yet I hear you rejoicing for me. Asking me why?

Why have you not gotten tired of this foolishness?

Why do bother to fight against my will?

Why not accept this grace?

Lord forgive me for letting this fire subside.

I am asking you, again, to rebuild me and to set me on fire for you.
Let me regain myself and carry this light of yours out into the world.
Let me die, so you can replace me with you.
Let this fire replace the emptiness I have placed in it's stead.

I am blessed because of you :

I could only sit in a corner chair somewhere in M.D. Anderson. I couldn't tell you where I was at that moment. I had a million things running through my head. I tried my best to cope and fight back tears as I sipped my poor concoction of whiskey and coke.

I stood there amongst other friends and your family and all I could think of was myself. How I wasn't ready for you to leave my life. They had prepped you for surgery and this, for all we knew could have been the last time we ever talked to you.

I'm often amazed at how God will bring people into your life. How random occurrences are seldom random. When I think back and try to remember, I don't remember a starting place. I just remember you being there. Goofy. Loud. Your energy grabbing the attention of a room and a laugh that made others laugh.

I looked up to you with such amazement. Most of us did. We'd copy how you talked or how you acted. Some of us even tried to copy your talents of writing or drawing. However, it was your faith, you belief that I was most envious of. There are many fake people who act a certain way, but your faith was genuine. It was that light that seemed to shine brightest from you.

All of it was like a magnet. You couldn't find anyone who ever had anything bad to say about you. People where and have always been drawn by your charisma. I still crack a smile thinking of some of the most random crap I've seen or experienced around you.

Everything from floating a river to getting kicked out of a taco bell. It's easy to say you were my hero and I had felt blessed even then to be like family.

You were the main reason I went into the Navy. I don't know if it was your attitude or how things just seem to go your way but to hear your stories made me envious. What am I going to do with my life? I don't have a clue. This seems so awesome for you, why wouldn't I go? I even had other options for different jobs but I wanted to be what you were. So I picked Radioman just before it was renamed I.T. ...

You have continued to be one of the strongest voices in my head. Between advice or just talking about nothing at all. I've listened.

So at this exact moment, at M.D. Anderson, we don't know what will happen next to you...

I'm a mess. I remember my hands shaking. I couldn't talk. I could barely look at you. Here is my hero, his wife crying her eyes and can literally do nothing. My hands shake as I fight tears.

It's useless.

The tears burned down my face. I pray... I beg... I bargain.

The doctors tell us we should leave. It's no good for us all to wait. No one moves. No one leaves. Minutes creep by like hours and hours like days. We wait.... We pray... We hope...

I beg... Lord please. Please not my friend. Please not my brother. Please.

People make small talk but it's in vein. The hospital is empty except for a gathering crowd in a waiting room.

The night eventually fades away.

It feels like an eternity ago for me. But I realize over and over how fortunate I am that you walked away from that day. Many of us are. I guess the reason I think to this is because, well, we seldom get second chances. How many people wish they had a second chance to hug their friend? or to let them know they're loved? Or just simply being around that person.

You never realize how important someone is to you until finality get's involved. So many people are blessed to this day to know you. People from 10 years ago will ask about you. For me, I can't imagine a world without you. I am so grateful that you've been apart of my life. I'm grateful for countless memories. I'm grateful for a God who gave me a role model, a friend and an older brother. I'm grateful for your shenanigans. I'm grateful that you took an interest in us when you could have easily been elsewhere. I'm grateful for every laugh I've gotten to share with you. I'm grateful to have been apart of your life and to hear you utter words that still make me laugh...

"YEAH BABY!! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?"

I love you, you're one of my best friends. You are why I am the way I am.

Thomas, I am blessed today, because of you.

Status Quo ...or not

I love some of the classes I've been taking. One of my favorites is anthropology. I've dabbled in psychology and sociology, tools I'm sure I'll need as my life progresses. How people act and why has always fascinated me. One of my most simple joys in life is just "people watching." What drives them as person to achieve what they do?

Accordingly, I just finished a chapter that spoke of a persons social status. If you make 'x' amount of dollars then you are this wealthy... or this poor. If I were to measure myself by the standards set by the book, then I would fall into a category that would be 'lower class.'

I couldn't help but laugh at the idea.

I am, by their definition, a person who is poor and left wanting. I am socially at a loss in this world.

I could not be more okay with this.

The world tells me that what I earn as person defines the type of life I'll live. The idea could not be more absurd.

I live in America. I have never truly wanted or needed. If I have gone without, it is because I've chosen to do so and for no great period of time. I have never felt the desperation of finding shelter or a next meal. If life were to deal me into dire straights tomorrow, I would have family and friends to fall on.

The world tells me I am insignificant and yet, I'm not. Today, I really let it sink in, that I am blessed more so than the rest of the world and more so than most. There are others in the world that would consider what I have to make me royalty.

Think about that, take a moment and realize how fortunate and blessed you are. To know know what it is to truly want. To wake up in a war torn guerrilla warfare existence. To know that you will not have to forage or beg for food. Say what you will, but epidemics and disease don't run rampant in the country. We have no warlords or extremely corrupt politicians or dictators.

I live better than 95% of the world! And today, I can only thank God for what I have. To never know want. To be blessed in this life and to realize it, is truly a gift.

I will go to sleep tonight, thanking and loving a God who loves and blesses me more than I deserve.

Not me...You

I've been going through older blogs and it almost broke my heart. To see where I was so passionate, to remember this love affair I had. My life revolved around God. I read the Bible to learn and just be captivated and consumed.I'd try to wrap my mind around the mysteries of God. I was infatuated. I had an understanding. I loved it. Millions of people everywhere in the world and all there was was us. The creator of heaven and earth and it was just us. I was on the front line...

but my priorities shifted. Not at first. but little by little. My eyes filled with amazement and wonder shifted toward mirrors and worldly things. I realized my agenda was how can I fit God into my life? How can my life reflect God? I had images and thoughts of being this amazing pastor. I'd Speak hell fire and salvation, picturing people being moved. Prodigal sons and life stories.

So what's wrong with that?

Well, looking back I realize, I traded this love affair for my agenda. I put me first.

I heard a pastor speaking in a sermon series. The series itself had nothing to do with this. It was entitled, why your purity doesn't work. Obviously not the same thing as this. I've heard the message before but, this was somehow different.

The pastor began the message with, Mark 8 - Take up your cross and follow me; and 2 Corinthians 4 - I die daily.

I talk about my agenda, my writing had hints of it underneath. My life had it under the surface. But, I had no cross... and I certainly stopped following Jesus. I didn't recant my faith or anything like that... but just as Peter denied Christ... My life and my agenda, my thoughts and my actions ... well I was denying Christ.

"I die daily..." The contradiction was staring me down. My flesh, my sin, my denials... I certainly wasn't dying to myself. If I was the prodigal son, I would have basically gone BACK into the world...

I've put off thinking about this for about a week. Tonight as I drove home, well, it seemed like God was saying, "we need to talk."

I just... I just don't want my agenda anymore. Not if it's going to cost me something like this. So what happens now? Now, I guess I have some things to sort out. Time for this prodigal to start walking home. Time to pick out my cross and lay my life down.

So tonight, I pray for a lack of agenda. I pray for a lack of me. Not me... but YOU.

Step right up....

(below is me being a little silly, taking on a nonbeliever. feel free to add comments)

When did it become hip to bash Christianity? I hate this stereotype that Christians are bleeding heart hypocrites that are viewed as idiots for their beliefs.

Ironically, I feel the same about the people who throw rocks at my beliefs. Sure it's easy to join the band wagon and poke holes in anyone's beliefs. However, before you mock me, maybe you should stand up for what you believe in.

If you're an atheist, good for you. You either don't believe in God or you believe that we evolved from a lesser being according to science and what science has proven. You say something along the lines of, Religion is man made and fallible. Science can be proved. Science proves all things. Yeah? First of all, science is another one of those "man made" things. And according to that, that means it can be argued and proven wrong. For those of you that say, "no it can't." I say, look at how science offers theory's, then adds, changes or discards those theory's. And that's what most of science has to offer... theory's. By the way, evolution can be proved just as much as God is real according to the "scientific method." So, I'd like to take the time to negate science as a leg to stand on, in an argument against my beliefs.

Also, for those of you, who just think that there is no God. Cool, I don't mind arguing this point. If there is no God, then fine, you win. Nothing happens when you die and this life was a giant coincidental waste of time... whoop-ey. From your point of view, you were right. but you're dead and it only took dying to figure it out. You can't gloat any way cuz like I said, you're dead. You can look at it like I wasted my life. Fine, I lived my life to a set of standards. I tried to leave this world a better place and found comfort in the others that shared my beliefs and all that jazz. But, let's take a look as to what's on the other side of that coin, shall we? If I'm right , then you're screwed.

"Well, if God is real, then all I have to do is ask for forgiveness and I'll still get to go to heaven." Holy crap, let's pretend for a second that God is not retarded. Since there is a God that created the whole universe and understand the complexities of making life, planets and stuff that he wouldn't have thought all this through, just so some jerk off could find a loop hole in the system and make God look like a giant d'bag.

"How do explain all the bad things that happen in life? Why doesn't God step in and do something about it?" ...Why don't you do something about it? I'm sick of people using this line. This life is packed full of free will-ie goodness. You, like everyone else has a choice. There are good things in life as well as bad. Sometimes it needs to be chalked up a learning experience, a gift, or a loss. regardless of what happens in life, you have the choice to change and over come your circumstances. Plus, good can come out of any situation.

"What about the golden rule, how do you explain the people outside of abortion clinics with those awful signs? Same situation with Christians at gay pride rallies." If you believe that all Christians are like this, then all Muslims are in Al Queda. For the record, i don't believe all Muslims are in Al Queda. It's unfair to compare one group with a bunch of extremists. Don't compare me to some extremist groups of Christians who exploit the Bible to express personal beliefs and spew hate. Most of us live by Jesus' example. Love everyone, no questions asked. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

"What about Biblical conspiracies, hypocrisy's, and possible missing chapters?" Who cares? If a chocolate cake was missing a slice, would that make it any less of a chocolate cake? If the bible is missing chapters it probably doesn't matter. All the important parts are still there. If a chapter was missing out of harry potter or any other story, chances are you'd be able to figure out what's going on... why would the bible be different? I get the gist of the story. The beginning talks about God and everything leading up to the birth of Jesus. He sent his son in the middle of the story who died for us so we can go to heaven. God wins the fight at the end. All you have to do is say the sinners prayer. You don't have to be the guy in the chuck e. cheese outfit to figure this out.

"I believe in God, I don't believe in hell though..." (reaching for the advil) To say you believe absolutely in something, such as God. If he tells you there's a hell, then there's a hell. He talks about it, his son talks about it. I don't understand the problem here. Do you think the whole devil/Lucifer/dark prince talk is just filler to make the Bible a darn good read? It's there. If you don't believe me, you're always welcome to go, we'll wait here.

"what makes you think you're religion is the best?" Now here is a good question. 90% of the whole worldly population believes in some sort of God. We can safely assume that we're not all looking off each other's papers because there are different versions of all major religions. If you're another religion, that's fine. Hope you change your mind, if you have questions, come see me, I'll help out. However, Religion is an awful term. I have faith. I like to think I have a relationship with God. I think if people had these two things it'd solve a lot of problems.

I'm actually stopping here for now.

floats like a cannonball

It sits. waiting. always patiently waiting to be turned into words to be spoken. Something of a Revolution.

Even now I see the images of friends fighting the epic battles of their own lives. Each one falling victim to themselve... their own worst enemy. I watch their pain from a distance. Waiting... calculating. Taking notice when instead of taking action.

For a few, their torment lies in substance. Each time it becomes salvation and a death sentence. It's always one last time... and no one has to know. and they can't really say who controls their souls.

Others face heart break and live life constantly struggling. Refusing to give up and yet never sure how much they really have left. They suffered abuse outside of our imagination.

Then there are those who live life never knowing their greatness. Meant for so much more but content with so much less.

These are the hardened hearts of the fallen. Bitter towards a God... One that they're not even sure exists anymore... Like so many others they stand in line amongst the damned. After all the presence of others makes up for a missing God.

But each one suffers from a lie. Accepting their place... But it was never meant to be this way. I've watched and watched. As I'm sure many of us have. But Wars were never meant to be watched. They were meant to be fought.

For so long I've been standing here waiting. Asking for a sign... but at the same time being blind. Bombs have been dropped around me and there have been to many casualties. I never realized it but I've been on the frontline.

I've been saying for awhile that I need to go back to basics. But their in lies the secret joke. You can't go back once a revolution starts. You can only go forward. Choosing your side and putting in the fight.

My biggest hope now is to be more than I was.

lyrics that remind me of mike

memories in F minor

To the friend that I love
who has different roots of blood
You are the earth that makes mud
that comes from rain that made the flood
We cycle in and out of what our lives are capable of
And through it all I thank you for teaching me below and above

I had a friend who was way to young to die
I guess death is one of those things some people do to life

Past Times and Sold Short

Quick story. Two brothers are equally different and opposite. One brother is making a stew and the other is coming back from hunting. The brother coming back from hunting is starving, smells the stew and immediately thinks he's going to die if he doesn't eat. The brother who made the soup is extremely clever and in the heat of the moment offers the meal for the others inheritance.

Stupid right?

Who would give up their inheritance for something as simple or temporary as a meal? Who would want to insult themselves and sell themselves so short?

Funny how I see it as more of a common practice these days. People who sell themselves short. Sad, how people can forget or not even know their own worth. Even sadder are those who have been labeled "worthless," who have little idea of their real potential and worth.

If you found a dime in your pocket, you know from experience that that dime is worth ten cents, or 10% of a dollar. You can't pass the dime of for $50 dollars because people know what the value of a dime is worth. I highly doubt you'd be able to get away with using it to buy and pay for a car.

And yet, in 1965 the U.S. treasury department released (by accident) a dime made of real silver. I'm pretty sure that normal dimes are made from copper and nickle. But these handful of dimes are special. If you happen to find one, you'd soon find out that what was meant to be 10 cents, something insignificant, is actually worth about 9,000 dollars! Somebody do that math on that and get back to me about the percentage increase that is.

I cannot help but think of certain people who have accepted their own labels that society, people or even those close to them have given them. How many people have been labeled worthless, hopeless or lost cause? How many people have either listened to statements or deemed themselves less than, or not worth it.

I use the dime as an example. But there are those who need to know what their real value is and where it comes from. Your value never has and never will and never should come from this Earth or anyone on it.

Serious collectors from tea sets to comic books know one important truth. The rarer and unique something is, the more special and valuable it is. Now this might sound cliche or even trite but, if you were to take inventory of every person that ever lived from now until forever. You'd be the only one. You'd be the rarest, most valuable, single edition, extremely rare one of a kind, you.

The Bible says, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You might be thinking, well that's great. So what? What does any of that have to do with my worth? If you thought about the most important thing in your life, would you try and save it if your house was on fire? Of course you would! You might put yourself in harms way for that one thing or one person.

You are so valuable to God that you cannot be measured. He would put his son, whom he was most pleased with to horrible, painful death for you. Because you are too valuable to him.

There are some out there who I know are selling themselves short. They get caught up the world around them. Their circumstances or even their break ups that they have no idea what their value and real worth is. If God was on this physical plain or on the other side of your computer, he'd tell you. Or maybe he's using me to tell you.

The point is, if you're reading this, you either thought, I'll humor Jon and check out what he wrote... OR, maybe God's trying to remind you how precious and beautiful you are. I believe that if you're reading this, it is not coincidental.

God calls us (the sinner) the cornerstone or crown Jewel of all creation.

There is no mistake big enough. No screw up large enough. Not even the worst of your dirty little secrets to stop you from God Love.

I pray tonight, that at the least, you never sell yourself short.